It took me about a minute this morning to realize that seven years today my brother journeyed to his final home. I close my eyes and to me it was just like yesterday, so real and fresh are the memories. Tim, Squishy, and I came home this weekend to celebrate our Gilbert. It’s hard to live so far away from where he’s buried; I want to be closer. And though I know he’s always around wherever I am, I still have this need to be near his physical resting place. A human need, I know, but one that helps during this time of year.
This year is especially difficult for me since it’ll be Squish’s first year celebrating today with us. It destroys me that my son won’t know his uncle the way he should. Kuya would have been a teddy bear for his Squish. That’s the kind of guy he was. Kuya’s kind heart would have had infinite patience for my non-stop baby. Sometimes I imagine interactions they could have had. My favorite dream is the two of them rolling on the ground, playing with toys, with my kid hitting Kuya with a few, and Kuya just laughing away. That one never fails to help me get through the tough days.
It’s going to be a joy sharing stories of Kuya with Squish as Squish grows. As Squish makes his own discoveries, I’ll be ready with a story or two of Kuya at that same age. I’ll rely on mom and dad, our family and friends, to help flesh out a few more. I’ll make sure that Squish learns about the wonderful person his uncle was to everyone. I’ll make sure that Squish knows why his name is Gilbert.
